A mother and her Wisdom will soon be imParted...(part III)

I don't know how many "Parts" there will be to this "imParting of Wisdom", but I get asked for info all the time, and so I will keep sharing what I have found until someone asks me to stop! Here is at least a third installment. Also included in this blog will be:

#1: Check of the stress level
#2: WOW! It's great to be ahead of schedule (reprise 1)
and of course,
#3: imParting of Wisdom

Now, let's start this thing out Soap Opera style:

(to be read in a deep and dramatic TV announcer-type voice) In our last episode, Nicole was starting to feel the stresses associated with putting together a wedding reception. After sending out the invitations, she realized that the wedding was coming up sooner than she realized, and worried she was getting behind schedule. Was Nicole behind schedule? Is the wedding coming up sooner than expected? Will she be able to pull out of the stress she was feeling? Let's tune in now to see how the mother of the bride is doing.....


#1: Check of the stress level:
Yes, it's true. Sending out the invitations caused a great level of stress. It made the wedding seem SOOOOO close and I did NOT feel as prepared as I wanted to by that point. Kaylee is coming home from London one week from this Thursday and I want to have everything done by then so we can just soak up and enjoy that last week of time together before the wedding.

Luckily, I had NOTHING on my calendar the two days after invites went out. I grabbed that opportunity and just slowly, but methodically, finished off all sorts of little items on my list. I LOVED IT!! I now am feeling a TON better about the whole thing. There are still lots of little things like: make sure we have enough extension cords/spot lights (gonna get Kyle on that one), steaming out wrinkles from chair covers/sashes/overlays (but I am hoping to get some friends to help me), stringing some lights on this decoration thing, and mounting some pictures, but that's about it. There is another project, but I am leaving that for Kaylee to do since she has asked to be able to help in some way once she gets home.

Note to future self: If you start to feel like you are running out of time, don't ever underestimate what two days of hard work can do. I got a TON done and it helped out the stress immensely. It felt GREAT!!

#2: WOW! It's great to be ahead of schedule (reprise 1):
I have now had 2 experiences where I am reaping what I sowed (in a good way). Already told the story about the invitations in the last blog. Well, I have been experiencing another one over the past month:

Everything has been ordered, and what has not come in yet will be here in the next 48 hours (with the exception of the flowers). This has not happened without DRAMA! I will explain...

I ordered a bunch of stuff from linentablecloth.com WEEKS ago. Two items in one of the orders were SATIN table overlays and a roll of 58" x 10 yd PINK organza fabric. When the order came I got ORGANZA table overlays and MARIGOLD organza fabric. I called and they were really cool about it. They just sent out a replacement order. When that order got here I received SATIN overlays (good!) and a 6" high roll of pink TULLE (bad!).... yeah.... that's what I thought! They messed up the replacement order?!?! I called again and, once again, they were very sweet and apologetic. The replacement order came about a week later and I got... 3/8" RIBBON!!! 3/8"!! The roll of fabric is 58" tall. If I stand it up, it comes to my EYEBALLS!! If I stand up the ribbon is it as tall as my baby toe. I have NO idea how they could mess that up. They did get the color (pink) and fabric (organza) right, but the part they missed is a pretty crucial one.

When I called them AGAIN, I was still nice - but firm. I explained that it is a very lucky thing that I had planned ahead enough so that this was not a problem. I did tell them if it happened again, I would then run out of time for them to get it replaced... AGAIN. For the record, the THIRD replacement order arrived a few days ago in the form of 58" x 10 yd PINK organza fabric...(good!) :-)

I am SERIOUSLY happy that I started on that stuff as long ago as I did!! It really took over a month to get it right!! In defense of linentablecloth.com, I like all the stuff I have gotten from them, and surprisingly I would order from them again... but that is as far as the defense goes.

They did handle it in a classy way though: She said "The most I can offer you is an 'I'm so sorry'" ..... on second thought, maybe that wasn't so classy. Personally, if I were managing that place, after that many bad replacement orders I would have at least given "5% off your next order", or something like "just keep the stuff that is wrong in case you can use it someday". Oh well. Since I am done ordering things, I didn't really sweat it.

IT IS SO GOOD TO SAY THAT!! I think I will say it again: I am done ordering things :)

#3: imParting of Wisdom
At the start of the last blog I blew through information on utensils, napkins, cups, etc. I will elaborate a bit more on all those things, but first let's talk white paper doilies:

APPARENTLY, they are becoming very fashionable... who knew?!? If you want some, the best prices I found were at:
10" (24 ct), $1 @ Dollar Tree
12", $.12 @ Joker Joker
14", $.14 @ Joker Joker

For what Amber wants for refreshments we need cups, bowls, spoons and napkins. The caterer told me to go to smartyhadaparty.com because he gets a lot of his stuff there and he thinks they have the best prices. I DID go there, but I also checked out other places just to be sure.

I looked online and around town. Here in St. George I went to: Joker Joker, Partyland, Costco and Dollar Tree. Here is how it all broke down:


** If it matters, they do not sell spoons separately in CLEAR, only white.

* If you order from them, FIRST find them on facebook and "like" them. Then post a comment on their page asking for a promo code. They will send you one within 12 hours. It will most likely be $5 off your order.

For online orders you also need to take into consideration shipping & handling charges.

For those with the "Buy American" (a.k.a. Buy Local) attitude, you probably won't like what I did because I almost all the stuff I got was from online. Exceptions: spoons & doilies @ Dollar Tree and some bigger doilies @ Joker Joker. If it had not been for smartyhadaparty & ebay, I would have used Partyland for most things.

That is all the wisdom I have to imPart of today.

P.S. Kyle, if you are reading this before I talk to you about it, will you please be in charge of making sure we have enough extension cords & spotlights?..... Thank you :)

A Mother and her Peace will soon be parted....

This will be the shortest post ever (at least by my standards... which isn't really saying that much).

It is now 11 p.m. It has been a long (but good) day. Got tons accomplished. Quick recap: For anyone looking for napkins, spoons, bowls, cups, etc. smartyhadaparty.com is great. I'll give more detailed info about that in a post or two - but for now, I felt all my calm and peace melt away today and a whole new level of stress set in!!! I don't know if it will pass in a day or so when I realize things are fine, but let me explain...

I got the call I have been waiting for for 2 1/2 weeks. The invitations are in. Since the envelopes have been addressed and stamped, all we needed to do was stuff them and take them to the post office.... so I thought. I found several envelopes with mistakes on them. Example: We had 4 that printed out with only one of the spouses names on it. That might be an uncomfortable conversation when the invite comes!!!:

Husband: Did I do something that made the Kimzey's mad? They did not invite me, but they invited you!?!
Wife: Oh. I've always suspected they like me more than you (said in a smug voice)
Husband: (feeling a little defensive) What is that supposed to mean?!?!

The conversation might go on for hours and eventually lead to divorce just because I did not QUADRUPLE check the names and addresses before printing & stamping the envelopes!!! Is this my source of stress?!!?! Not really. That will take a few minutes to print some corrected envelopes, not big deal.

We found a few other problems too: a house number was left off of one, and a few other minor things. Nothing that 10 minutes at the computer won't fix. None of this is the source of by stress, but.....

Not to future self: Save the marriages of the world!!When working on names & addresses when your other children get married, do the QUADRUPLE check. Three is just not enough!!

Why so stressed then? I realized that TOMORROW most of the invites go out!! That means the wedding is REALLY REALLY close!! I all of the sudden feel like it crept up on me and took my by surprise!!! It still seemed like I had tons of time to finish stuff up. I am now regretting taking it so easy last month. I'm not so sure I'm ahead of the game anymore!!

There is the possibility that tomorrow I will congregate all my senses and realize that it is all good, and I really have things under control more than it feels right now, but there is the chance that I will realize - Yeah, you are behind!! If so, I will sweat, pace the floor, maybe call and friend and say "let's go to lunch!", then dig in!!!!!!!!

Just in case, I have some more advise for my future self: When planning future wedding receptions for my children, don't take it so easy in the second month!! Just wait till it's over!

A Mother and Her Wisdom will soon be imParted...(part II)

As promised, I would continue to impart some more of the knowledge I have gained about specific vendors/items/ideas/organization/etc. as I have been striving to put together a nice reception, but not have to stress myself out or sell a kidney to do it. Today it will be about addressing envelopes (this is probably one of the best things I did for time/sanity saving).

This is how this blog will run:
#1: Give an update on my last blog about Kaylee trying to sabotage Amber's wedding
#2: Share my "WOW! It's great to be ahead of schedule" story
then
#3: imParting of Wisdom (what little I have collected)

Let's start...

#1: Give an update on my last blog about Kaylee trying to sabotage Amber's wedding:
First off, I'm just makin' sure everyone was getting my humor: Kaylee never was trying to sabotage anything. After the second time of a company running out of something I wanted to order while I was on the phone with Kaylee, it just became a fun joke Kay & I would banter back and forth about. It's not that I've gotten any comments like "Wow. I can't believe Kaylee was trying to do that!", I just thought I would throw that out there for anyone that did not read to the end of the last blog, or has no humor-radar.

Secondly, since that blog was written (it was written several weeks ago, but just recently posted) there is more to update. The day after placing that frantic gold-medal-typing-performance order for chair covers and sashes, I received a call from the customer support department of the website (usually not a good sign). They informed me that the computer accidentally showed the chair covers as being in stock when they really were not (yeah, not a good sign). They DID have the sashes, but not chair covers. Knowing theirs would not be in stock in time for the reception, they suggested I try CV Linens. They are one of their competitors, but they said they rarely get customers complaining about them (i.e: I got my order from ____ and it was terrible quality and so now I am ordering from you). I looked at their website (cvlinen.com) and they did have the same chair cover, but it was $1 more per cover and I was getting 80.... ouch!! I called and asked if they would price match. They said yes, but ONLY if the other place had it in stock. I informed her that the other place did NOT have it in stock. She then proceeded to ask me what the other website was. Then she asked what the item was and their price. She then put me on hold. She came back a few seconds later and told me they would price match!!! I was shocked (due to the "we will only price match if they have the item in stock" thing). She must have taken pity. I paid for them over the phone and they arrived about 4 days later!!

I thought that was cool!

Moral of the story: If the less expensive place is out of stock, you might as well ask the more expensive place if they price match!

#2: Share my "WOW! It's great to be ahead of schedule" story:
Anyone that knows me understands that when possible, I like to be AHEAD of schedule. Being on time does not account for any unforeseen.... road-bumps (for lack of a better word) . There are the times that I run ON schedule and even, heaven forbid, BEHIND schedule, but whenever possible I try to be AHEAD. This was the case with the invitations. A couple of blogs ago (My first "...Wisdom..imParted...") I mentioned that the invitations were done and ordered. It was beautiful! It was March 4th. Wasn't planning on mailing them out until March 26th. After the 5 days it would take to complete them, that would still put them in my hands more than two weeks early!! Ahhhh... bliss! Yeah - That's what I THOUGHT! Let's just say that today is March 28th (two days AFTER I wanted to mail them out) and the invites are just getting here today or tomorrow. I'll back up a few weeks and explain....

First, on March 5th there was a road bump. Then, on March 7th there were a couple of road bumps. By the time March 9th rolled around my shocks were shot and I was ready for NO MORE ROAD BUMPS! Yeah... that didn't happen. I hit a few more. The problem was not really anyone's fault. It started with cmyk vs. rgb printing issues because I designed the invites myself, and then moved onto other things that just took time to resolve.

The point is: I am SO SO SO SO SO glad that I was ahead of schedule!! I can not imagine how much stress I would have had if we were up against the deadline.

Now, the envelopes are already addressed and stamped. That means we just have to stuff them and that won't take long. They will still go out 3 1/2 weeks ahead, and that is just fine with me. Really, the March 26th deadline was just a "give yourself some time for problems" deadline anyway.

Note to future self planning Kaylee's wedding: stay ahead on everything that you can!!! That way it isn't as stressful when the road-bumps come up.

There are still some decorations that I am making that I should get going on. I really think I can do them in one day - but then again, I thought I was done with the invites a few WEEKS ago....hmmm... maybe I have gotten behind schedule now!!

Okay - on to:

#3: imParting of Wisdom
Today I will share some of the stuff I did to make the invitations a LOT easier than they might have been otherwise. When I say invitations, I am really talking about the process of gathering addresses and then addressing envelopes. This is the one and only area that I have been working on for years, but even at that, I have continued to tweak and refine!!

#1 piece of advise: It is NEVER too early to collect addresses. Over the years I have thought to myself, "Someday I will need to send out wedding invitations to lots of people. I will need their addresses. If I have one of the addresses NOW, shouldn't I write it down?" and then, miraculously, I would listen to myself and write it down! Over the years I have told myself to do some other stellar ideas only to have me not listen and ignor myself. This is one time I'm glad I did what I was told to do! I started out with the old fashioned address book (which I still have), but have since moved to a computer.

I will admit that it has helped a LOT that I send out holiday cards because you need to have addresses for those. AND, anyone I love enough to have been sending a holiday card to all these years, I am most likely going to want to send an invitation to my daughters wedding reception too. I have made a few "tweaks" to my system over the years, but now I have it in a way that works great for me. That does not mean that is how YOU want it, but I can say that it has made a HUGE difference for me. After much trial and error through the years here are things that are helping me now:

• Keep your addresses on the computer (but always make a back up). I use Microsoft Outlook. If you do not have it, I suggest you get something. You can even keep track of them in Excel, or some other spreadsheet. BUT make sure it is one where you can categorize!!! (see two bullets down) When they are on a computer you can print labels or do what we did - print directly onto the envelope. The most important key here: It's never too early to start. I've had some addresses on my computer for over 15 years. As the years go on, my system has gotten more and more refined, but you have to start somewhere. Even if your oldest kid is 10 - when the wedding rolls around you will be SO glad if you start doing this now.
  

• Enter them in correctly the first time! Example: If your friend is John Smith, but you know that when a holiday card or wedding announcement gets mailed out you want it to read "Mr. & Mrs. John Smith" or "The John Smith Family", then enter it in that way for the initial entry. I had to spend a bit of time "cleaning up" contacts that I did not enter correct the first time. Sometimes the initial entry (that may have been a few years ago) was just an email address, but I still put them in the "Wedding" category if I knew we would want to send them an invite. It sill put me ahead as far as collecting names, even if I had to hunt the address down now. Also, if you don't want name of states or "Lane", "North", "South, "Drive", "Apartment", etc. abbreviated on a card or announcement, don't abbreviate it when you put it in the first time!! (I just recently realized this. Luckily there is a "Find & Replace" in Microsoft Outlook - saved me TONS of time!)
• Make categories for your contacts. This is really where you can hit gold! I contact many different groups of people for many different things and "categories" in my contacts list have saved me over the years. I am the "Choir Mom President" and I have a category for each of the choirs. If I need to send an email out to the Concert Choir parents, I open that category and select "email all". Works like a charm!! Many of the choir people are also my friends that get holiday cards and will get an invitation to the wedding. Those people would have several categories assigned to them. The real pay off for this will show up when I talk about "Sort" in about two more bullet points.
  
• Get correct postage on out-of-country addresses. (I learned this one the hard way) When I did my holiday cards this year I mail-merged and printed all of my envelopes, stamped them & mailed them. A few days later I got one of the envelopes back because it was the the Philippines and we did not put correct postage on it. We had just sat and smacked stamps on them and did not pay attention to where they went. This is EASY to fix with the following....
  
• Sort smartly and you'll be... happy (so disappointing! I was wanting a lovely alliteration of "S" words but couldn't come up with anything) First of all - don't let this part make your head explode. It might sound overwhelming, but it is SO underwhelming, but one of the most useful "organizational" things I have done. To explain it, I will tell you my nightmare and then my dream. Nightmare: While stuffing 400 addressed envelopes where names are in random order, we accidentally miss adding the ceremony invite to some crucial person - like my brother or Grandma!! The dream: Categories and addresses that allow me to sort!! Here is how the dream worked for me: I have had a "Wedding" category in my contacts list for several years. As stated above, if I was entering in an address of someone I might want to send an invite to, I just did one click of the mouse and added them to that category (takes less time than entering a zip code). Since starting on this wedding I have further refine that, and now I have 4 wedding categories (you'll see why later): ceremony, luncheon, map, invite. It REALLY was still as easy as a click, click, click of the mouse. When a new contact was entered (because there were still tons of contacts we had NOT entered yet) I just assigned them a category at the same time I put the address in. It really was only one more click of the mouse. Before printing my envelopes I did three quick things: 1st, Sorted by country (took around .5 seconds). 2nd, sorted by category (took around .5 seconds). 3rd, sorted each category by last name, then first name (took about 3 minutes, no, probably 2). Then I mail merged and printed them directly onto the envelopes (easy to do with the "help" guides of most software, or by calling me). Now, all envelopes going out of the country are all together and not mixed in with the others. I can now make sure they all have the proper postage. I also have all of the envelopes going to people we are inviting to the ceremony all together - no accidentally missing brothers or grandmas! Same with those with those invited to the luncheon, who need a map, and who are receiving an invitation. I hope this does not sound complicated!! Trust me, it really is not AND it saves SO SO SO much time. Mitch's mom in technology-challenged so I made a spread sheet in Excel for her. It was easy for her and worked great and I was able to sort her addresses too. If you are really serious about this, email me and I will send you the spread sheet for you to get started. It is SOOOO easy!!
• You can find who you have on your list! This is another way it can really save your sanity. When you are a month or so into planning a reception and gathering addresses and all the other stuff, you will stop and think, "Is great-aunt Mary on our invitation list?". I PROMISE YOU, this will happen! If you have your list on a computer, all you need to do is have it listed alphabetically and it only takes a moment to go to your list and check. If you just have it written down, you have to slowly look through THE WHOLE LIST (sometimes more than once) and really, there are better uses of your time!
  

hmmm........ I hope I didn't scare you away with that last one. Sometimes it can sound so overwhelming to non-technical people. I tried to explain it in a way that made it sound easy (cuz it is!!) and I hope it did. All I know is that it works and is easy for ME - But my mind is damaged in the way where stuff like that brings me peace and happiness :)

That is my imParted Wisdom of the day. I hope it helps someone :)

Now, here's hoping I don't get a call from the customer support department of the company who is printing our invitations!!!

A Mother and her Online Order will soon be parted...

Or, more appropriately named: KAYLEE IS TRYING SABOTAGE THIS WEDDING!!!!

I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true. Let me explain...

I wanted to buy some chair covers for the wedding reception. I did LOTS of checking around, ordered a sample or two, found the kind that works the best over the chairs we are using. Since the wedding was still several weeks away, I didn't JUMP on ordering them, I just bookmarked on my computer the website and figured I'd get to it in the next week. When I went to place the order they were out of stock! Bummer. I called them and they said that they would have them back in stock in a week or so. I wasn't that worried, but...

This led me to check their website no less than 10 times a day to see if they were back in stock (obsessive? probably - but I would only do it when I was already at the computer doing other things). After a week or so, I got online. I saw they were in stock. I started the order. I was to the part where I put in my shipping address when..... (dramatic drum roll...) KAYLEE logs onto her Skype account and I get the "hello, Mommy. Are you there?" window popping up in the bottom right hand corner of my computer monitor.

How can I pass up the chance to chat with her? I LOVE my daughter (or at least I used to before I realized that she was trying to sabotage the wedding!). A little bit later I finished my talk with Kaylee. I returned to my order, but something was wrong. It was not letting me process the order. What could be wrong??? This is what I found: While I was talking to my daughter, they ran out of stock AGAIN!!!

At first I was not suspicious of Kaylee. I thought it a mere coincidence. I called the company again. They now said they didn't know when they would get them in, but hopefully it would be within the next week or so.

Flash forward a few days. Checking the website has become even MORE of an obsession. Then I remember a lesson I have learned the hard way: if there are shoes at Ross that you like - Just get them! Don't wait! They may not be there the next time you go back! This applies because I realized that there was something else I wanted to order from the same website and it WAS in stock. I decided I might as well order it now.

I went to the computer, I put my item in the "shopping cart". Just as I clicked the "check out" button I got the all-to-familiar window popping up in the bottom right hand corner of my computer monitor: "Mommy! Are you there?" It was Kaylee again.

Remember, I'm not suspicious yet about the reality that Kaylee is trying to ruin this wedding (or at least the reception). Once again, I stopped what I was doing and chatted with Kaylee for a bit. When I was done I went back to my order and..... I PROMISE I am NOT making this up.... the item I had placed in my shopping cart was NOW OUT OF STOCK!!

I then put the pieces together and realized that Kaylee was a force to be reckoned with. She had always SEEMED so sweet before. Always APPEARED to be so supportive and happy for Amber. Now she had shown her cards and IT... WAS... WAR!!

I called customer service for the website and they said: "they are on a boat coming from China and we don't know for sure when they will get here, but it will be by April 30th".... Are we remembering here that the reception is on April 23rd?!?!?

When I "chatted" with Kaylee (we mostly instant message on Skype), her response was (and this is a direct quote): MAWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! I believe this statement would be admissible in court and cause any jury to deliver a GUILTY verdict!!

I went back to other websites with the same item two items, but it was SO much more expensive anywhere else. I was bummed at the thought of paying more when it was less expensive elsewhere. At this point I still had many weeks where I can wait, so I decided to just give it a little bit of time to see what happened.

About 5 days later I was on the computer working on something else. I was in a HUGE hurry and so when the "Mommy, are you there" popped up in the lower right hand corner of my computer monitor, I had to ignore it for a moment. As I kept working I was laughing to myself thinking wouldn't that be funny if the chair covers and sashes were in stock right now, but if I were to talk to Kaylee they would have disappeared by the time I was done talking with her? Solely for the purpose of amusing myself, I checked the website. THEY WERE IN STOCK!!! My fingers flew across the keyboard. I have never typed in my shipping address so fast. If typing were an Olympic sport, in this one moment I would have pulled in a Gold Medal!! When I hit the "submit" button sweat was pouring down my face like I'd run a marathon and my heart rate was in the low 200's!....

okay, that was an exaggeration for the purpose of dramatic affect. I really would have won the gold medal, but there was no sweat and my heart rate couldn't have been over 180!

After I finished my order, for some reason I went back to the website and.... wait for it..... THEY WERE OUT OF STOCK AGAIN!! Yes. It is true. I did not make this up! I had gotten the last of them. I started laughing at the thought that if I would have talked to Kaylee I really would have missed out again.

I jumped on Skype to see if she was still there so we could laugh about it together. I found her there and when I informed her that she was unable to sabotage the reception she answered (again, a direct quote): BLAST!!!!

The reality was that, the morning before I reread my Wedding Motto (see bottom of first post) that i had posted on my bathroom mirror and realized that: chair covers or no chair covers did not matter. I was going to keep it in perspective and not stressed over such a silly thing. Then, ironically, the next day I was able to get them.

Now for those of you coming to the reception, don't hold your breath over the anticipation of seeing these chair covers that have caused such a fuss. They are just white. There is nothing special about them other than they are slightly prettier than the chairs they are covering.

Here is my Note To Future Self Planning Kaylee's Reception (or anyone else reading this who has a reception to plan): February is Chinese New Year and the whole country shuts down for an entire month!! That means that businesses selling things made in China (that would be most on-line wedding stuff) will run out of stock and then take awhile getting things back in stock in the early spring months. If you find something and you know you want it, just get it. Don't wait. Otherwise you will do what Kyle and I have done over many pairs of shoes at Ross: "Dang! Why did I wait? I knew there was a chance they would not be there when I came back!"

As far as Kaylee goes, she has succumbed to the fact that she can not ruin this reception!! Okay, okay. Kaylee was never really trying to sabotage the reception. That was just some fun that we were all having with it!.....

or was it?..........


P.S. For those that don't know Kaylee - really, it was just something we had fun joking about. A girl who is happier for her sister you will have a hard time finding :)

A Mother and her Wisdom will soon be imParted.... (part I)

Here's how this blog is gonna break down:
#1. The last month
#2. The last week
#3. The imParting of all of the "Vendor Wisdom" I have come across, Part I

#1. The Last Month:
No blog for a month?!?!? How could this be? Everyone keeps asking why I haven't posted a blog. Well the truth is, I took a month off. Not in ALL area's of life, just wedding stuff. We went nuts the first few weeks, got TONS done, so after the engagement and bridal pictures we decided (and by we I mean I) to go on "mental wedding vacation". It was intended to be about a 3 week vacation. It turned into an extra week because several (and by several I mean one) obstacles (and by obstacles I mean Amber) got in my way. Let me explain...

My daughter is in love with Mitch. Since they are getting married this is a good thing. Unfortunately this love has caused a very unfortunate side-effect: her brain turned off, went on vacation or went into hibernation mode. The next step we needed to tackle was the invitations, but I could not move forward without sitting down with her and getting some input and direction. Finding a time when Amber could sit down with me took over a week - I'm really not lying - it took over one week! Between Amber being in love in the morning, THEN being in love in both the afternoon AND evening just made it more complicated than I thought it would be. I will cut her some slack since she is working two different jobs AT THE SAME TIME as being in love (I don't know how she does it!!!!) :)

Amber finally had her brain come visit us for a brief time and it was just enough to get the information needed, decisions made and accomplish something. YEAH! As of last night, the invitations are at the printers!! I should get a proof later today, or on Monday. This makes me smile :)

In Amber's defense, she is really cute and that does make up a lot for taking too long to sit down with her mom and get invitations done.

#2. The Last Week:
WOW! Worst week of wedding planning yet!!! It wouldn't be for everyone, but it was for me. Once again, let me explain...

All we really have left is invitations (ordering, addressing, stamping, stuffing, mailing) and decorations. On the decorations we just need to get a little more info on some things, and on other things just make that final "let's do THAT one" and then order, borrow or make it. To get those final bits of info before making decisions, I was on the internet a LOT this week looking around at pricing, reviews, etc. (stay tuned: my leg work on all that will start to be revealed in #3). What drove me crazy is that I was busy with this ALL WEEK - but then I didn't make any final decisions on anything! It made me feel like I was spinning my wheels all week. Here is an example: One of Amber's colors is a really hard to name blue. We want some blue bows. Found a place online that I like, good reviews (well... I'll address this in #3 too), etc. BUT they have several different blues that COULD work, but you can't really tell the true color of something from your computer screen. So what did I do?

I just stared at the computer for two days thinking that if I looked long enough I would start to instinctively know if their Turquoise had more green than blue, or blue than green. I did get opinions from friends. Then I stared at the computer again. Then I ordered sample packets of colors so I can see them in living color before buying the stuff. What should I have done? JUST ORDER THE SAMPLE PACKETS FIRST!! Sometimes I think I'm just a freak about things. Even though I have tons of time, I just wanted the thrill of ordering something and calling it "done" and so I didn't want to wait for the sample packets to come before I decided. Stupid, I know. I have the patience of a 3 year old sometimes.

That is the perfect example of what my week was like. I actually did THE EXACT SAME THING with paper lanterns. When I couldn't take staring at the bows anymore I would switch to the lanterns. It went back and forth several times. Well... the samples are on their way and I feel 42 years old again instead of 3.

The side effect of my week is that my house gone to pot. My little cleaning elves never came in the middle of the night to clean up my messes! Okay, they have NEVER shown up, but a girl can keep dreaming.

As I mentioned earlier, the week wasn't completely void of unfinished tasks. We did get the invitations designed and ordered. That finally fulfilled my appetite for checking off at least one "done" box on my list.

#3. The imParting (get the pun? my blog is always about me "Parting" with something, now it's "imParting"... I thought it was cleaver) of all of the "Vendor Wisdom" I have come across, Part I

Things I have been asked to specifically address are:

• Where are you finding the best deals?
• How did you pick __________ (insert: linens, flowers, photographer, cake decorator, venue, etc.)
• Where are you finding the best deals?
• How do you keep organized?
• Where are you finding the best deals?(sensing a trend about best deals? By far my most asked question)
  

I'll eventually get to all of these, but this blog has already gone on for quite awhile, so I will just cover one area in this blog, and then do another blog with the other stuff in it.

Do you remember years ago when Oprah said she was never going to eat another hamburger for the rest of her life after viewing some video about the beef industry? Well, if you didn't, here is the rundown: Stock prices for beef plummeted!! It caused such a crisis for that industry that beef owners in Texas got together and SUED Oprah for slander! I know, I know - It sounds like something I would make up - but this really happened. If you don't believe me, go google it. It went to trial and everything. Luckily she was not found guilty, which is why we are still able have the Oprah book club on TV instead of from cell block 23.... (side note: it was during this trial that she met Dr. Phil)....

I am about to do to the local linen rental industry what Oprah did to the beef owners! Will it cause local linen rental stocks to plumit? Hope not. Will it possibly offend a local business owner? Possibly. Will it save someone else a little bit of stress and money when they are planning a wedding, or other event? Hope so.

Linens:
This can get pricey. REAL pricey.
The first thing I checked on was the 120" round (will cover a 5' rd table and hang to the floor) blk/wh demask (some call it flocking) tablecloth. The demask pattern is in this picture, but it is the overlay, not the tablecloth. (This is in case you didn't know what it looked like. Before I started asking around I always refereed to it as "the one table cloth that is black and white and there is a pattern on it like a... not swirls, but... kind of like a..." and then I trailed off). Forevermore Events in St. George will rent you a demask 120" round tablecloth for $27.95. If you go online you can BUY them cheaper and then you'll OWN them. Go to ebay right now and you'll find 10 of them for $23.49 each. I think that is a way better deal. Is it better quality? (To be addressed in a few paragraphs)

The next thing I checked was the same size tablecloth in plain black or plain white. At Forevermore Events either color rents for $12.95. At linentablecloth.com I can buy that same cloth for $11.15. Again, I would then OWN them to use at my other daughters reception, my boys date-dance dinners at my house, possible open houses for my sons, etc.

For me, the demask was SO much more that I decided it was not worth the extra cost. I am going with white rounds and colored runners.

Now we'll talk runners. It's the same thing as the linens. JUST BUY THEM! Forevermore Events rents them for $4.95. The most expensive ones I found at the sites I was looking at were $4.29 with most being under $2.99. Quality? (just give me a few more paragraphs)

No different with chair sashes. Forevermore Events rents chair sashes for $1.99-$3.00. $1.99 was the MOST expensive I found on line, with most being under $1.50.

As far as chair covers, I know that I thought the price was so silly from Forevermore Events that I didn't even write it down in my Bible (our name for the binder that holds "all-things-wedding").

I feel like I have been slamming Forevermore Events. Let me point out a few things before I show my spreadsheet and wrap this blog up:

I know people that have used Forevermore Events and had a GREAT experience. I am not saying they are bad in any way. You walk in and say I want that, that, that, and that. You walk out and they do the rest. For what they do, it's great. I AM saying that if you are looking for a way to make the wedding budget stretch the furthest, I think there are better ways.

NOW I will talk about reviews, quality & your own personal effort:

Reviews: Beware - some sites have ONLY positive reviews. They also say you can earn "points" (good for a few cents off your purchase) if you submit a review on a product that gets approved. This lets me know they filter the reviews and so they are tainted. My point is: don't ALWAYS trust reviews.

Quality: I don't know how good the quality is on any of the stuff from online. How good does it have to be if it is going to sit there for two hours while people have a little refreshment and a drink? Everyone has their own opinion on that. My suggestion is to do what I have done: just order 1 of something, or a sample pack. Just do it when you START looking, not after two days of computer staring and your house going to pot :)

Personal Effort: If you rent the linens they will press them and clean them. You don't have to do it, or store them after. If that is a big deal to you then you will not save money, but you will save time and space in your storage room.

Before I show you my spreadsheet on price comparisons in linens, two things: #1. Many of these sites also sell ribbons and bolts of material that match, and #2, does anyone know a good lawyer in case the owner of Forevermore Events reads this blog! :)

A Mother and her So You Think You Can Dance tickets will soon be parted...

19/79 (days of engagement/days till wedding)

I'm a So You Think You Can Dance junkie. Judge me if you like, but I am. I watch it every season. I'm even the kind that votes every week. Imagine my surprise when, a month or so ago, I received an email saying they were having auditions in Salt Lake City and this year they are having a live studio audience at auditions. That sounds like an email with random information, but THIS email included a button that said "click here for free tickets"!!! Oh, I clicked, and I clicked FAST!! No WAY was I passing this up!!

This wasn't the first time this type of thing had happened to me. I also got an email like this several years ago, except if was for American Idol (when American Idol was my favorite show). And it wasn't for auditions either - it was to see the actual show in Hollywood. You better believe I clicked then too! My girlfriend & I got in the car and went to Hollywood to see the final 4 compete: Jordan Sparks, the beat-box guy, MY personal favorite Melinda Doolittle, and one other person whose name escapes me. I remember it was Bee Gee's week. I also remember that I fell in love with Ryan Seacrest. He is SO nice. I remember seeing Nygel Lithgo (then producer of American Idol, now producer and judge on So You Think You Can Dance) get his groove on in the back of the studio to one of the songs. I remember lots of things and all of them were great! Then we went to P.F. Chang's for dinner, got a hotel, drove back the next day, and loved every minute of it!! We had a BLAST!

(you can tell I liked it because even though I used WAY too many exclamation marks in that last paragraph, I'm not deleting any of them............!!!!!!!)

Considering my experience with American Idol, I have REALLY been looking forward to the same type of thing with my new favorite show. Enter reality......

For reasons that are unavoidable, this Thursday afternoon and Friday morning is the only time Amber & Mitch can get both their engagement and Bridal photos taken (details are really boring as to why, so I'll skip it). If we go to So You Think You Can Dance we need to be at Capital Theater in Salt Lake on Friday by noon. It's a four hour drive. The engagements are that morning at 9:00 a.m. Translation: I'm not going to So You Think You Can Dance.

How do I feel about that? Let me share a few more details before I answer that...

Leading up to the Bridal's we sent Amber to get her nails done so her hands would feel pretty. We had Amber's hair done today by my best friend, Pam (the same one I went to American Idol with) so she would feel like her hair was incredible (and it was). Once the hair was done we added the veil. Then Pam & I started with the dress: 1st, slip. 2nd, lace up corset. 3rd, petticoat. 4th, skirt. 5th, top blouse that laced up the back. 6th, sash on the side. 7th, 5' electric blue stiletto heels. Add some make up on her beautiful face, and some pearls around her neck to finish it off.

During the last bit of this process, Mitch was ready in his tux waiting in the living room. He had seen nothing of Amber's transformation into the Bride-To-Be. As Amber walked out for Mitch to see her for the first time in her wedding dress, I made sure I positioned myself so I could see the expression on his face. The effect on him gave him the inability to both speak and hear. First, all he could do was stare. Second, he just kept staring. Third, he hugged her so tight, but still kept staring. Then it was time for us to leave for the photographers studio. "Amber and Mitch, it's time to go".... no response..."Amber and Mitch, we still need to go pick up the bouquet. We need to leave or we'll be late".... nothing. They had lost the ability to hear anything except the birds that were undoubtedly chirping and singing inside their little heads. I'm not sure, but I think I actually had to go over and physically start shooing them to the car because they were not hearing a word I said.

We spent the first hour of the photo shoot at the photographers studio. To make it more personal for Amber & Mitch I brought the songs Amber has picked out to play at their reception, and played them while they were having their photographs taken. I know she's my daughter and I already think she is beautiful, but she took my breath away. It was such a special moment.

Kyle couldn't get there right when we started, but was able to arrive about 30 minutes after we started. I had called him and told him he needed to come share this sweet experience. He stayed with us the rest of the time.

When we finished at the studio we went to a back-ally in downtown for some more "rustic" shots, and then up to Pioneer Park for some more dramatic shots on the red rocks. While hiking around in the rocks, Amber slipped on some flat slip-on's (navigating the rocky terrain on those 5' electric blue stilettos would NOT have been fun). When we came to the next location for a picture, Kyle would hold the bouquet while I fluffed her dress, then Mitch would let her balance on him while her dad put those bright blue shoes back on her for the next picture. We all had an amazing, wonderful, and thoroughly fun time. Kyle even became quite proficient at "raining" the bouquet (spritzing it with water to give it a nice glistening look).

We stayed there until the sun had gone down. It was amazing. I know I'm the mom, but I think they are going to end up being some of the most wonderful bridals I've ever seen!!!

We then picked up food at Cafe Rio and came home. Amber & Mitch joined us at Cafe Rio - complete with wedding dress, veil and tux! There wasn't a person there that wasn't staring at them. They were either thinking "This is the loveliest bride I have ever seen!" or, "They just got married. What the heck are they doing at Cafe Rio?!?!?". I'm sure they did not instinctively know that they had NOT just gotten married, but just gotten pictures instead. Cafe Rio even gave them a free dessert :)

So, I am now writing this on Thursday evening. We've had the Bridals done, eaten dinner, relaxed, and now Amber & Mitch are outside playing basketball with Nick & Kylie. The engagement pictures are just about 11 hours away, and there will be no So You Think You Can Dance in my future plans.

As I said earlier, How do I feel about that?

Today I saw my young daughter dress up as the Bride she will be in 79 days. I saw her future husbands breath be taken away when he saw her in her wedding dress. I saw my husband react the same way, and I felt it myself when I saw her standing there with her future husband. I saw my husband not only leave work to be with us for this experience, but carry bouquets, carry shoes, "rain" on flowers, hold her dress up out of the dirt, hold lighting for the photographer, and follow his daughter around and love and admire her and the man that is taking her out of his home. Tomorrow she will go with her future husband and take the picture that will be included in the announcement we send out to those we love to announce the day she becomes a wife.

This is how I feel: Nails, worth it. Hair, worth it. Flowers, worth it. Dress, worth it. My husband there, SO worth it. Translation: If it could guarantee that the memory of this day would never fade as long as I lived, I would never even watch or think of So You Think You Can Dance again.

Amber, at the photographers studio


In the "rustic" setting.... isn't she gorgeous?
Why yes, I think she is!

A Mother and her Tunnel Vision will soon be parted

13/85 (days of engagement/days till wedding)

I am my own worst enemy.

I love a creative or organizational "project": do a play, organize a closet, build a spreadsheet, edit a little family film, etc. They spark my creativity and I love that! But since there "must needs be opposition in all things", my fun projects (like planning a wedding reception) have a down side too. I get really, really bad tunnel vision. I have so much fun with it that I ignore everything else around me. Let's get real - kick one of the three things off this list of things to do: 1. Help my daughter pick out her wedding bouquet, 2. Map out a calendar of when things need to get done for "all things wedding", or 3. cooking and cleaning. No contest. THREE IS GONE!! It's no fun at all. I think laundry is annoying even when there aren't other fun things to do!

Yes, the last two weeks have been SO fun - but my house is slowly falling apart. I also find myself wanting to not hassle with dinner either. Just about every night I am wishing we would go out for food so I don't have to cook. I'm fine with In-n-Out, Panda Express, Pizza (can you tell why I'm not getting a size 6 dress for this wedding).

Anyway, the wedding planing itself has not been stressful at all (with the exception of a few hours figuring out some scheduling issues for pictures with the groom in Idaho and the Bride in St. George), but the state of my house because of my neglect of it is starting to really grade on my deep level nerves. It's also starting to work on my deep level guilt! Unless I do something about it, it will continue to fester and irritate me until, about 3 days from now, I will all of the sudden be super agitated, tense and grumpy. I know myself well enough that I really can time it that well.

Problem #1: I don't WANT to stop doing the "fun" for the "boring and mundane". It's my own personal weakness. I am like the kid that pitches a fit when mom calls them in from playing with their friends because they didn't do their chores. Problem #2: I AM the mom. How does the mom call herself in from the fun? When it comes to stuff like this I have never been a very good at listening to my inner mom.

Bottom line: I don't WANT to do house work, but if I don't I will end up grumpy and stressed...... ** sigh **...... Okay, I am going to try and get rid of my Tunnel Vision today and get some cleaning done....... so boring and not fun .........

On the UP side, Kyle did just purchase our plane tickets to Texas for the open house. We are going a few days early to play in San Antonio. Now THAT sounds fun :)

"Mom, do I REALLY have to come inside?..."

A Mother and BOTH of her Daughters will soon be Reunited....

Count down: 10/88 (days of engagement/days till wedding)

"We're under 3 months now". While I have gotten lots of things done, I need a few more things to get done before that statement doesn't make me a little nervous.

I started this blog mainly to give advise to my future self that would be planning Kaylee's wedding. I don't think this entry will have any great insights into that, but I still felt like getting a few of my experiences and thoughts down on paper....er.... I mean internet-cyber-space.

Yesterday was indescribable for several different reasons. I'm still kind of shaking my head over it. All I can say is: I love technology, I love people who make it nice, I love that glow that can light up Manhattan and I had no idea how connected lessons from Harry Potter were to wedding dress shopping.

Amber was up in Idaho last week. Mitch brought her to Provo on Sunday and I went and picked her up and we looked for wedding dresses.

Kaylee, being the maid-of-honor as well as the best friend/sister in all of this, is in London on semester abroad and will remain there until 8 days before the wedding. Things like missing her sister trying on wedding dresses have been particularly hard for her. I told her we would bring the laptop w/ a web-cam, and if any of the dress shops had wi-fi, we would try and Skype with her (internet video conferencing). That way she could see some of the dresses. I even called the shops I knew we were going to in advance to see if they had wi-fi.... sadly, none did.

The first place we went to was an old building. We walked in and it was a little dirty, a little stuffy and the carpet looked liked it was put down right after the pioneers got there. The only sales lady was on the phone and didn't really pay much attention to us for a few minutes. The whole store was so cluttered that walking past someone in the aisle gave me the same feeling I do when I am seated in sacrament meeting at church and need to get up and leave for some reason: excuse me, pardon me, excuse me. None of that really matters at all if you find a dress that is loved, but we didn't. Tried a few on - no magic. Left.

We arrived at our second stop. It was in a building that housed many different businesses. We walked in and it was small, but clean and nice. Josh Groban was playing softly in the background (ALWAYS a good sign). I pulled out the laptop to check for a wi-fi signal from the dress shop. They did not have one, but I was picking up a signal from another business in the same building. It was password protected so I couldn't use it.

The sales women came out and introduced herself as Nicole (LOVE the name!). She asked a few questions about what kind of things Amber wanted in a wedding dress and then whisked her away to a dressing room. She said she would help Amber with everything she needed and we were to just sit and relax....hmmm..... I sensed some pampering and I was going to love it!

I used this time to go look at the directory for the building and find the company whose wi-fi signal I was picking up. They were two stories directly above the dress shop. I went up, entered the office and found one man. I told him the situation: Daughter downstairs was going to try on wedding dresses. Another daughter was in London desperately wanting to be part of this wonderful experience. Then I humbly asked if he would be willing to allow me to access his internet. Without saying a word, he smiled, wrote down the password and gave it to me!

I ran for the laptop, booted it up, logged onto Skype only to find that Kaylee was not logged in. When we had spoken a few days earlier I had told her it would be a long shot for us to meet up so I was not too surprised she was not there. Then - about 2 minutes later Kaylee logged on!!! When she came up on the screen I explained to her where we were and that Amber hadn't even come out in a dress yet. Kaylee started crying immediately. She was so happy!!!!! :) I Love Technology.

Amber told me that while they were back there Nicole fussed over every little detail. First, she wouldn't let Amber look in the mirror until she was perfect. Once the dress was on, Nicole tried different veils and added a necklace. Amber said she made her feel so special. I Love People Who Make It Nice.

A few minutes later the door opened and out walked Amber in a beautiful dress complete with jewelry and veil. We all "oooed" and "aawwwwed" and I took the laptop all around the dress so Kaylee could get a good look at it. Nicole fussed over Amber the whole time. While it was great, we all knew it wasn't THE dress. Amber and Nicole retreated once again into the dressing room.

A few minutes later Amber walked out and it was a vision. It was different in this dress. She glowed!! It was amazing. While we tried a few different tops to go with the skirt (it is a 2-piece set) we all knew that was the one. We took pictures, walked around her, looked at the front, looked at the back, looked at the front again. Walked with the laptop, walked without the laptop. Sat down and looked, then stood up to look and started all over again. This whole time all Amber did was stand still and glow as she looked at the dress in the mirror. I Love that Glow that can Light up Manhattan!! It was perfect for Amber and that is what mattered most. She loved it! We were done. Mission accomplished!! Kaylee was able to be online with us the whole time. **sigh**

We had more time before we had to leave for home, and so we went to a different Bridal Shop that was in University Mall. This time because it had a HUGE inventory of Brides Maid dresses for Kaylee. That store was big enough that they had several Brides trying on gowns all at the same time with plenty of space for each of them. As I watched each one, I learned that I could tell if the bride was going to buy the gown she was wearing. There were four brides standing at mirrors. It was: no, no, Yes, no. Or in other words: no, no, GLOW, no.

We then went shopping all over the mall and ended up back in the bridal shop to ask one more question about a dress for Kaylee. Once again: no, GLOW, no, GLOW.

In Harry Potter you learn "the wand chooses the Wizard". Yesterday I learned "the dress chooses the Bride"...... I had no idea how connected lessons from Harry Potter were to wedding dress shopping!

A Mother and her Money will soon be parted...

Countdown: 8/90 (Day since Engagement/Days till Wedding)

Did a LOT of work early last week, then took it easy the last 1/2 of the week. I still did a little bit of searching online for wedding dress stores for us to look in and made some appointments with the caterers and photographers for when Amber gets back, but kept it really low-key the last few days.

For my future self (the one planning Kaylee's wedding), I highly recommend doing that. By "that", I mean taking "Wedding Planning Vacation Days". There are plenty of days to get the "work" done, but if you don't step back and give yourself time to enjoy the ride - what's the point? Someone with my type of personality can easily get so wrapped up in the planning that I get tunnel-vision and forget to savor it while I've got it. I don't want this experience to go by unappreciated. It's a once in a life-time thing with Amber. Even though I have Kaylee, she is a different personality and so the experience with her will be different. I want to make the most of THIS time around.

Since this is the week we are looking at dresses and putting deposits down on things, this upcoming week will mark the start of the money spending. I am trying to keep my mind set on prioritizing and sticking to our budget - but I can tell that will be challenging at times. Sometimes I hate budgets and think they take all the fun out of things!! Let me give you an example of my "Wedding Budget" ways of thinking:

When Kyle and I got married, my parents bought me a new outfit to wear to my Wedding Luncheon. After I had it for a few days, I realized it just wasn't what I wanted so I went and found another dress. Even after I found a hat to go with it, it still ended up being about $30 LESS than the first one. Kyle's response: "Hey! You just saved $30". My response: "Hey! Now I can get new shoes too!!" (and I did)..... I know this gives you all great sympathy for what Kyle was working with when we first got married.... but (probably since I am footing the bill this time) I am hoping to have more of what Kyle had back then.

I just have to remember my "wedding motto" and the heart attack I will surely give my sweet husband if I blow the budget. I am trusting that Kyle and Amber will give me reality checks when I need them.

I was thinking about all the spending that will go down in the next few days and giving myself the "stay on budget" pep-talk when I saw some of our friends, the Dorman's. They have 5 girls ranging in age from probably 10 months to nine years old. I just kept thinking "Save your money, Steve! Save your money!".

Well, here's hoping that I'm smart with ours! (But I'll still probably get Amber a new pair of shoes!)

A Mother and her Plan will soon be parted: Who Wants To Stick To A Plan?

In just the last 24 hours I have learned a few more things about planning a wedding:

I have mostly been working on getting organized and starting to get some balls in motion so I can feel progress. Progress makes me calm and happy. It's odd though because I have done a ton of work - but spent no money!! Hmm................ (that was me dreaming about a world where if you just work at organizing and getting balls rolling, the wedding would continue to be free - minus my book and CUTE binder w/ accessories). Alas, it is just a dream because the financial bleeding will start next week: we go dress shopping on Monday.

Well, I took inventory of the list I made yesterday (check bottom of last blog). I printed it out and it is hanging on my mirror now to help me keep perspective (as I'm learning there is SO much out there to cloud proper perspective). I needed to take inventory because we had the first blow to our plan. Yes we had a plan - but Who Wants To Stick To A Plan? Okay, that was a dumb question because I really DID want to stick to the plan! To have it shifted so early in the process was..... looking for the best word.... I guess I would say... funny. That's not the word I thought I was going to pick - but it's what came to mind. Here is the story:

Reception site: BOOKED (and pictured below)!! Love it. Outside by a creek. Lots of grass. Pretty flowers. Commune with nature and all that stuff. Speaking of nature, it sometimes has a way of taking a dump on you. I mean that literally! My wedding reception was outside and nature dumped on us in the form of RAIN! The backup plan (which we invented when we started getting rained on) was to crowd into my too-small living room. It all worked and I'm still married, but it was not ideal.

Flash forward 20 years: Both my daughters have always wanted an outdoor reception. I have NEVER wanted my daughters to have an outdoor reception because I think the rain possibility would stress me out. The FANTASTIC part of the location (now pictured above) is that right next to it is another great INDOOR reception area run by the same people who would let us use it in case of bad weather!! It was so perfect. Did you notice I just used the word "was"?......

They called me last night and told me that, even though she had looked at the schedule 3 times when we booked it - she realized that she was only looking for availability during the DAY. In the evening there is a wedding booked to take place in the outdoor venue on Amber's wedding day. Translation: plan just got flushed.

Luckily we still have time to look for another outdoor venue, or we can just use the indoor venue which I still like a lot. When I talk to Amber again later I will see what she's thinkin'. Now we need a new plan. Depending what that new plan is will determine how much time it will take to put it into action.

Now, you may ask why I choose the word "funny" to describe this situation? I think it's so funny that I would be naive enough to think I would not have some wrinkle in my plan. To think: once something is written on my calendar in INK, it can not be altered in any way! Yes, Nicole, you are charmingly naive! (is it okay that I just called myself charming?)

One last thought: The wise man may have built his house upon the rock, but the Father of the Bride built his house in a town were very few relatives live. Not counting Kyle, our kids, or me, we have a total 59 people in our direct families. Of those, only 6 live in St. George - you do the math! We got some work cut out for us to get some housing figured out!

Note to future self: When planning next wedding, make sure they look at the correct time of day on the schedule when booking anything.

A Mother and her Sanity will soon be parted...

I have two daughters. One is 20, has completed one and half years of college and is currently on semester abroad in London, England. The other is 18 and has gone to one semester of college. One of them got engaged last Saturday. No, no! It's not the older one, it's the younger one... the one who just graduated from high school less than 8 months ago... the 18 year old... the one who has been 18 for less than 7 months. While this raises an eyebrow, this isn't the most shocking thing in the world for several reasons:

1. She isn't the first in her grade to get engaged. From the people we know in her graduating class, she is the fifth that I am aware of. Two of the five are already married and one already has a baby on the way!
2. She is kind of a "relationship person". She thrives within a relationship. We didn't think she would remain unattached for very long in college.
   
3. He's nice. She's nice. They fell in love... what ya gonna do?

Since I still have another daughter to get married off some day, and I have also been hounded by people asking me to document this experience for them, I decided to start a bog about putting together this wedding and all of it's many details. My HOPE is that it will make it easier for me the next time around. Will it? I guess I'll find out after I get my second daughter married off. But that's another blog...

This first entry will be long since I have had a CRAZY (meaning crazy-FULL, not crazy-BAD) first few days!

The first thing I realized is that - Wow - I now need to put together a wedding reception. Then they chose a wedding date and the second thing I realized was that - WOW - I now need to put together a wedding reception IN THREE MONTHS!! Would love to have just had a few more weeks to get it all together, but I guess sometimes it's easier to pull off the band-aid fast instead of dragging it out.

First thing Sunday (the engagement was on Saturday) I jumped on the internet and started searching for things like: who pays for what, time lines for getting things done, wedding invitations, decorations, general advise, etc. I found tons of stuff and some of it was actually useful. I think everyone planning a wedding should do lots of internet research from those who have gone on before. It both informs as well as fuels creativity. Bookmark everything that sounds even remotely helpful: picture, ideas, charts, information. Some of my favorite sites were:

• LDSweddings.com. On the right hand side, under Features, there is a Tools section that has a great time-line for when to get things done for different engagement lengths. They also have lots of other good info. (to Kyle's credit, he is the one that found this one)
• asimpleldswedding.com. This one is pretty good too.
• theorganizedwedding.com. This one has free software you can download and use to organize EVERYTHING that I have been able to think of!! Guest lists, invitation wording & format, budget (VERY detailed), tasks, seating arrangements, gift's received, thank you's, appointments, and can also run a multitude of reports from financial, to guests that have confirmed. The look and use of it is a little cheesy, but I have been using it and it has the potential of being pretty cool.
  

A wedding date had been decided upon during a conversation Sunday evening, and so first thing Monday - reserve a room at the temple!! I had Amber and Mitch do that themselves. There are just somethings the couple should be able to do themselves!

Then I drove to every bookstore in town looking for a book that might have some info I didn't find online. I soon realized that it needed to be a book specifically about LDS weddings because they are structured so differently from other weddings. Just so you know, there are a lot of pointless wedding books out there, but I found one I think I will like. I'm not going to RAVE about it just yet, but I'll let you know. It is Your Temple Weding: A guide to planning, preparing and celebrating your special day by Jeri-Lynn Johnson and Amy Jones. The book didn't have much extra info I hadn't already found on the internet, but it seemed to cover all the things that I was most interested in (a good time-line of when to get things done was a big seller to me). I also wanted hard paper to ear mark/write notes on/highlight/put sticky notes in/take with me to read while waiting for car washes/etc.

Tuesday included booking the reception site (we already knew where we wanted it, so no research went into that) and starting a Wedding Binder where I will keep notes, contracts, receipts, pictures, quotes and other info. It was one of the ideas I got from one of the countless websites I visited. You can buy pre-made wedding binders (I know, I looked) but they are RIDICULOUSLY expensive and I would have been forced to use their formats and sections - none of which "spoke" to me. So I opted to gather and make my own. Tuesday also included pricing some linens and a few other items at a wedding rental store. THEN, we picked out colors which I thought was a really cool experience because....

Amber had gone up to Idaho with Mitch for the week. I was going to meet her in Utah Valley on Monday and we were going to look at wedding dresses and bridesmaids dresses. It is WAY better to (and if you are reading this to help you with a possible wedding in the future - write this down and remember it!) pick the color from tuxedo vests and not dress. Dresses come in endless hues of colors. Tux vests do NOT. It is so much easier to match a dress to a tux than a tux to a dress. ANYWAY, I would not see Amber again before we were in a dress shop so... I took one of our laptops with a webcam on it - went to the tux store (which has wi-fi) - hooked up with Amber online @ Skype - and proceeded to walk around the tux store with the laptop webcam showing Amber all the options over the internet. It was great and we now have colors :) (I love technology)

Now today:

The count is now 4/94 (days of engagement/days till wedding). We have booked the temple, reception location, selected a caterer, picked out colors, done major work on guest list and collecting addresses, begun checking prices on tuxes, linens & photography. ( We knew the engagement was coming several weeks in advance and been able to do a little prep work before. If it had come as a surprise, we would not be this far)

Through all of this, the #1 thing I have learned already is that organization is KEY!! Remember the binder I started yesterday? Well, it was one I found in my closet that was small, old, boring, blue and had "Nursery Leader" written on the outside with a black sharpie marker. That was not going to do for me! So I went to a chic, trend setting store (WalMart) and got myself a new binder that is a little bit bigger and will fit everything. I got one of the zipper pouches that elementary school kids keep pencils in (and, just because I'm a girl, made sure it was one of the wedding colors), a small calculator, dividers w/pockets and those really small post-it notes. I had picked out a generic kind of a binder with a plastic cover you could slip your own paper inside of to make it more personal. As I was walking away, I found a really cute, colorful and feminine one that was the same size and only $1.50 more... I GOT IT!!! I told Kyle I may have been out of line to spend that much more on a binder just because it was "cute", and that it might send our budget into a tail spin and we may no longer be able to afford a dress - but I will go down right now saying: It was worth it!!! Now I have a (CUTE) binder where the dividers have pockets and the zipper pouch inside that holds samples of the wedding colors and a small calculator. And since the wedding book I bought was not very large, I was able to use a page protector as a pocket for it in the back of the binder. Everything in ONE place..... nice :)

It's like they say: One Binder to organize all papers, One Binder to find them (the good deals), One Binder to keep you on task, and in the future BIND them (the couple that is - get it - BIND...SEAL...TEMPLE SEALING... ya, you get it)!
By, the way, that was a LOTR (Lord of the Rings) reference. Capitals on "BIND" are to emphasize the way Cate Blanchett said it in the movie.... very cool!

While I am aware I will soon be parted from my sanity, here are things to remember:

1. Flowers wilt,
2. Food digests,
3. Invitations get thrown away,
4. Decorations are forgotten,
5. Dresses are put away, but
   
6. Families are Forever!