- She isn't the first in her grade to get engaged. From the people we know in her graduating class, she is the fifth that I am aware of. Two of the five are already married and one already has a baby on the way!
- She is kind of a "relationship person". She thrives within a relationship. We didn't think she would remain unattached for very long in college.
- He's nice. She's nice. They fell in love... what ya gonna do?
This first entry will be long since I have had a CRAZY (meaning crazy-FULL, not crazy-BAD) first few days!
The first thing I realized is that - Wow - I now need to put together a wedding reception. Then they chose a wedding date and the second thing I realized was that - WOW - I now need to put together a wedding reception IN THREE MONTHS!! Would love to have just had a few more weeks to get it all together, but I guess sometimes it's easier to pull off the band-aid fast instead of dragging it out.
First thing Sunday (the engagement was on Saturday) I jumped on the internet and started searching for things like: who pays for what, time lines for getting things done, wedding invitations, decorations, general advise, etc. I found tons of stuff and some of it was actually useful. I think everyone planning a wedding should do lots of internet research from those who have gone on before. It both informs as well as fuels creativity. Bookmark everything that sounds even remotely helpful: picture, ideas, charts, information. Some of my favorite sites were:
- LDSweddings.com. On the right hand side, under Features, there is a Tools section that has a great time-line for when to get things done for different engagement lengths. They also have lots of other good info. (to Kyle's credit, he is the one that found this one)
- asimpleldswedding.com. This one is pretty good too.
- theorganizedwedding.com. This one has free software you can download and use to organize EVERYTHING that I have been able to think of!! Guest lists, invitation wording & format, budget (VERY detailed), tasks, seating arrangements, gift's received, thank you's, appointments, and can also run a multitude of reports from financial, to guests that have confirmed. The look and use of it is a little cheesy, but I have been using it and it has the potential of being pretty cool.
Then I drove to every bookstore in town looking for a book that might have some info I didn't find online. I soon realized that it needed to be a book specifically about LDS weddings because they are structured so differently from other weddings. Just so you know, there are a lot of pointless wedding books out there, but I found one I think I will like. I'm not going to RAVE about it just yet, but I'll let you know. It is Your Temple Weding: A guide to planning, preparing and celebrating your special day by Jeri-Lynn Johnson and Amy Jones. The book didn't have much extra info I hadn't already found on the internet, but it seemed to cover all the things that I was most interested in (a good time-line of when to get things done was a big seller to me). I also wanted hard paper to ear mark/write notes on/highlight/put sticky notes in/take with me to read while waiting for car washes/etc.
Tuesday included booking the reception site (we already knew where we wanted it, so no research went into that) and starting a Wedding Binder where I will keep notes, contracts, receipts, pictures, quotes and other info. It was one of the ideas I got from one of the countless websites I visited. You can buy pre-made wedding binders (I know, I looked) but they are RIDICULOUSLY expensive and I would have been forced to use their formats and sections - none of which "spoke" to me. So I opted to gather and make my own. Tuesday also included pricing some linens and a few other items at a wedding rental store. THEN, we picked out colors which I thought was a really cool experience because....
Amber had gone up to Idaho with Mitch for the week. I was going to meet her in Utah Valley on Monday and we were going to look at wedding dresses and bridesmaids dresses. It is WAY better to (and if you are reading this to help you with a possible wedding in the future - write this down and remember it!) pick the color from tuxedo vests and not dress. Dresses come in endless hues of colors. Tux vests do NOT. It is so much easier to match a dress to a tux than a tux to a dress. ANYWAY, I would not see Amber again before we were in a dress shop so... I took one of our laptops with a webcam on it - went to the tux store (which has wi-fi) - hooked up with Amber online @ Skype - and proceeded to walk around the tux store with the laptop webcam showing Amber all the options over the internet. It was great and we now have colors :) (I love technology)
Now today:
The count is now 4/94 (days of engagement/days till wedding). We have booked the temple, reception location, selected a caterer, picked out colors, done major work on guest list and collecting addresses, begun checking prices on tuxes, linens & photography. ( We knew the engagement was coming several weeks in advance and been able to do a little prep work before. If it had come as a surprise, we would not be this far)
Through all of this, the #1 thing I have learned already is that organization is KEY!! Remember the binder I started yesterday? Well, it was one I found in my closet that was small, old, boring, blue and had "Nursery Leader" written on the outside with a black sharpie marker. That was not going to do for me! So I went to a chic, trend setting store (WalMart) and got myself a new binder that is a little bit bigger and will fit everything. I got one of the zipper pouches that elementary school kids keep pencils in (and, just because I'm a girl, made sure it was one of the wedding colors), a small calculator, dividers w/pockets and those really small post-it notes. I had picked out a generic kind of a binder with a plastic cover you could slip your own paper inside of to make it more personal. As I was walking away, I found a really cute, colorful and feminine one that was the same size and only $1.50 more... I GOT IT!!! I told Kyle I may have been out of line to spend that much more on a binder just because it was "cute", and that it might send our budget into a tail spin and we may no longer be able to afford a dress - but I will go down right now saying: It was worth it!!! Now I have a (CUTE) binder where the dividers have pockets and the zipper pouch inside that holds samples of the wedding colors and a small calculator. And since the wedding book I bought was not very large, I was able to use a page protector as a pocket for it in the back of the binder. Everything in ONE place..... nice :)
It's like they say: One Binder to organize all papers, One Binder to find them (the good deals), One Binder to keep you on task, and in the future BIND them (the couple that is - get it - BIND...SEAL...TEMPLE SEALING... ya, you get it)!
By, the way, that was a LOTR (Lord of the Rings) reference. Capitals on "BIND" are to emphasize the way Cate Blanchett said it in the movie.... very cool!
While I am aware I will soon be parted from my sanity, here are things to remember:
- Flowers wilt,
- Food digests,
- Invitations get thrown away,
- Decorations are forgotten,
- Dresses are put away, but
- Families are Forever!
Something that came in handy when planning my wedding was picking the top 3 most important/ must be right things. Those were the places that we focused the most effort on, and once they were in place everything else came together.
ReplyDeleteAlso have her give adjectives to describe what kind of wedding she wants. That will help you both get on the same page when planning.
Good luck!