13/85 (days of engagement/days till wedding)
I am my own worst enemy.
I love a creative or organizational "project": do a play, organize a closet, build a spreadsheet, edit a little family film, etc. They spark my creativity and I love that! But since there "must needs be opposition in all things", my fun projects (like planning a wedding reception) have a down side too. I get really, really bad tunnel vision. I have so much fun with it that I ignore everything else around me. Let's get real - kick one of the three things off this list of things to do: 1. Help my daughter pick out her wedding bouquet, 2. Map out a calendar of when things need to get done for "all things wedding", or 3. cooking and cleaning. No contest. THREE IS GONE!! It's no fun at all. I think laundry is annoying even when there aren't other fun things to do!
Yes, the last two weeks have been SO fun - but my house is slowly falling apart. I also find myself wanting to not hassle with dinner either. Just about every night I am wishing we would go out for food so I don't have to cook. I'm fine with In-n-Out, Panda Express, Pizza (can you tell why I'm not getting a size 6 dress for this wedding).
Anyway, the wedding planing itself has not been stressful at all (with the exception of a few hours figuring out some scheduling issues for pictures with the groom in Idaho and the Bride in St. George), but the state of my house because of my neglect of it is starting to really grade on my deep level nerves. It's also starting to work on my deep level guilt! Unless I do something about it, it will continue to fester and irritate me until, about 3 days from now, I will all of the sudden be super agitated, tense and grumpy. I know myself well enough that I really can time it that well.
Problem #1: I don't WANT to stop doing the "fun" for the "boring and mundane". It's my own personal weakness. I am like the kid that pitches a fit when mom calls them in from playing with their friends because they didn't do their chores. Problem #2: I AM the mom. How does the mom call herself in from the fun? When it comes to stuff like this I have never been a very good at listening to my inner mom.
Bottom line: I don't WANT to do house work, but if I don't I will end up grumpy and stressed...... ** sigh **...... Okay, I am going to try and get rid of my Tunnel Vision today and get some cleaning done....... so boring and not fun .........
On the UP side, Kyle did just purchase our plane tickets to Texas for the open house. We are going a few days early to play in San Antonio. Now THAT sounds fun :)
"Mom, do I REALLY have to come inside?..."
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A Mother and BOTH of her Daughters will soon be Reunited....
Count down: 10/88 (days of engagement/days till wedding)
"We're under 3 months now". While I have gotten lots of things done, I need a few more things to get done before that statement doesn't make me a little nervous.
I started this blog mainly to give advise to my future self that would be planning Kaylee's wedding. I don't think this entry will have any great insights into that, but I still felt like getting a few of my experiences and thoughts down on paper....er.... I mean internet-cyber-space.
Yesterday was indescribable for several different reasons. I'm still kind of shaking my head over it. All I can say is: I love technology, I love people who make it nice, I love that glow that can light up Manhattan and I had no idea how connected lessons from Harry Potter were to wedding dress shopping.
Amber was up in Idaho last week. Mitch brought her to Provo on Sunday and I went and picked her up and we looked for wedding dresses.
Kaylee, being the maid-of-honor as well as the best friend/sister in all of this, is in London on semester abroad and will remain there until 8 days before the wedding. Things like missing her sister trying on wedding dresses have been particularly hard for her. I told her we would bring the laptop w/ a web-cam, and if any of the dress shops had wi-fi, we would try and Skype with her (internet video conferencing). That way she could see some of the dresses. I even called the shops I knew we were going to in advance to see if they had wi-fi.... sadly, none did.
The first place we went to was an old building. We walked in and it was a little dirty, a little stuffy and the carpet looked liked it was put down right after the pioneers got there. The only sales lady was on the phone and didn't really pay much attention to us for a few minutes. The whole store was so cluttered that walking past someone in the aisle gave me the same feeling I do when I am seated in sacrament meeting at church and need to get up and leave for some reason: excuse me, pardon me, excuse me. None of that really matters at all if you find a dress that is loved, but we didn't. Tried a few on - no magic. Left.
We arrived at our second stop. It was in a building that housed many different businesses. We walked in and it was small, but clean and nice. Josh Groban was playing softly in the background (ALWAYS a good sign). I pulled out the laptop to check for a wi-fi signal from the dress shop. They did not have one, but I was picking up a signal from another business in the same building. It was password protected so I couldn't use it.
The sales women came out and introduced herself as Nicole (LOVE the name!). She asked a few questions about what kind of things Amber wanted in a wedding dress and then whisked her away to a dressing room. She said she would help Amber with everything she needed and we were to just sit and relax....hmmm..... I sensed some pampering and I was going to love it!
I used this time to go look at the directory for the building and find the company whose wi-fi signal I was picking up. They were two stories directly above the dress shop. I went up, entered the office and found one man. I told him the situation: Daughter downstairs was going to try on wedding dresses. Another daughter was in London desperately wanting to be part of this wonderful experience. Then I humbly asked if he would be willing to allow me to access his internet. Without saying a word, he smiled, wrote down the password and gave it to me!
I ran for the laptop, booted it up, logged onto Skype only to find that Kaylee was not logged in. When we had spoken a few days earlier I had told her it would be a long shot for us to meet up so I was not too surprised she was not there. Then - about 2 minutes later Kaylee logged on!!! When she came up on the screen I explained to her where we were and that Amber hadn't even come out in a dress yet. Kaylee started crying immediately. She was so happy!!!!! :) I Love Technology.
Amber told me that while they were back there Nicole fussed over every little detail. First, she wouldn't let Amber look in the mirror until she was perfect. Once the dress was on, Nicole tried different veils and added a necklace. Amber said she made her feel so special. I Love People Who Make It Nice.
A few minutes later the door opened and out walked Amber in a beautiful dress complete with jewelry and veil. We all "oooed" and "aawwwwed" and I took the laptop all around the dress so Kaylee could get a good look at it. Nicole fussed over Amber the whole time. While it was great, we all knew it wasn't THE dress. Amber and Nicole retreated once again into the dressing room.
A few minutes later Amber walked out and it was a vision. It was different in this dress. She glowed!! It was amazing. While we tried a few different tops to go with the skirt (it is a 2-piece set) we all knew that was the one. We took pictures, walked around her, looked at the front, looked at the back, looked at the front again. Walked with the laptop, walked without the laptop. Sat down and looked, then stood up to look and started all over again. This whole time all Amber did was stand still and glow as she looked at the dress in the mirror. I Love that Glow that can Light up Manhattan!! It was perfect for Amber and that is what mattered most. She loved it! We were done. Mission accomplished!! Kaylee was able to be online with us the whole time. **sigh**
We had more time before we had to leave for home, and so we went to a different Bridal Shop that was in University Mall. This time because it had a HUGE inventory of Brides Maid dresses for Kaylee. That store was big enough that they had several Brides trying on gowns all at the same time with plenty of space for each of them. As I watched each one, I learned that I could tell if the bride was going to buy the gown she was wearing. There were four brides standing at mirrors. It was: no, no, Yes, no. Or in other words: no, no, GLOW, no.
We then went shopping all over the mall and ended up back in the bridal shop to ask one more question about a dress for Kaylee. Once again: no, GLOW, no, GLOW.
In Harry Potter you learn "the wand chooses the Wizard". Yesterday I learned "the dress chooses the Bride"...... I had no idea how connected lessons from Harry Potter were to wedding dress shopping!
"We're under 3 months now". While I have gotten lots of things done, I need a few more things to get done before that statement doesn't make me a little nervous.
I started this blog mainly to give advise to my future self that would be planning Kaylee's wedding. I don't think this entry will have any great insights into that, but I still felt like getting a few of my experiences and thoughts down on paper....er.... I mean internet-cyber-space.
Yesterday was indescribable for several different reasons. I'm still kind of shaking my head over it. All I can say is: I love technology, I love people who make it nice, I love that glow that can light up Manhattan and I had no idea how connected lessons from Harry Potter were to wedding dress shopping.
Amber was up in Idaho last week. Mitch brought her to Provo on Sunday and I went and picked her up and we looked for wedding dresses.
Kaylee, being the maid-of-honor as well as the best friend/sister in all of this, is in London on semester abroad and will remain there until 8 days before the wedding. Things like missing her sister trying on wedding dresses have been particularly hard for her. I told her we would bring the laptop w/ a web-cam, and if any of the dress shops had wi-fi, we would try and Skype with her (internet video conferencing). That way she could see some of the dresses. I even called the shops I knew we were going to in advance to see if they had wi-fi.... sadly, none did.
The first place we went to was an old building. We walked in and it was a little dirty, a little stuffy and the carpet looked liked it was put down right after the pioneers got there. The only sales lady was on the phone and didn't really pay much attention to us for a few minutes. The whole store was so cluttered that walking past someone in the aisle gave me the same feeling I do when I am seated in sacrament meeting at church and need to get up and leave for some reason: excuse me, pardon me, excuse me. None of that really matters at all if you find a dress that is loved, but we didn't. Tried a few on - no magic. Left.
We arrived at our second stop. It was in a building that housed many different businesses. We walked in and it was small, but clean and nice. Josh Groban was playing softly in the background (ALWAYS a good sign). I pulled out the laptop to check for a wi-fi signal from the dress shop. They did not have one, but I was picking up a signal from another business in the same building. It was password protected so I couldn't use it.
The sales women came out and introduced herself as Nicole (LOVE the name!). She asked a few questions about what kind of things Amber wanted in a wedding dress and then whisked her away to a dressing room. She said she would help Amber with everything she needed and we were to just sit and relax....hmmm..... I sensed some pampering and I was going to love it!
I used this time to go look at the directory for the building and find the company whose wi-fi signal I was picking up. They were two stories directly above the dress shop. I went up, entered the office and found one man. I told him the situation: Daughter downstairs was going to try on wedding dresses. Another daughter was in London desperately wanting to be part of this wonderful experience. Then I humbly asked if he would be willing to allow me to access his internet. Without saying a word, he smiled, wrote down the password and gave it to me!
I ran for the laptop, booted it up, logged onto Skype only to find that Kaylee was not logged in. When we had spoken a few days earlier I had told her it would be a long shot for us to meet up so I was not too surprised she was not there. Then - about 2 minutes later Kaylee logged on!!! When she came up on the screen I explained to her where we were and that Amber hadn't even come out in a dress yet. Kaylee started crying immediately. She was so happy!!!!! :) I Love Technology.
Amber told me that while they were back there Nicole fussed over every little detail. First, she wouldn't let Amber look in the mirror until she was perfect. Once the dress was on, Nicole tried different veils and added a necklace. Amber said she made her feel so special. I Love People Who Make It Nice.
A few minutes later the door opened and out walked Amber in a beautiful dress complete with jewelry and veil. We all "oooed" and "aawwwwed" and I took the laptop all around the dress so Kaylee could get a good look at it. Nicole fussed over Amber the whole time. While it was great, we all knew it wasn't THE dress. Amber and Nicole retreated once again into the dressing room.
A few minutes later Amber walked out and it was a vision. It was different in this dress. She glowed!! It was amazing. While we tried a few different tops to go with the skirt (it is a 2-piece set) we all knew that was the one. We took pictures, walked around her, looked at the front, looked at the back, looked at the front again. Walked with the laptop, walked without the laptop. Sat down and looked, then stood up to look and started all over again. This whole time all Amber did was stand still and glow as she looked at the dress in the mirror. I Love that Glow that can Light up Manhattan!! It was perfect for Amber and that is what mattered most. She loved it! We were done. Mission accomplished!! Kaylee was able to be online with us the whole time. **sigh**
We had more time before we had to leave for home, and so we went to a different Bridal Shop that was in University Mall. This time because it had a HUGE inventory of Brides Maid dresses for Kaylee. That store was big enough that they had several Brides trying on gowns all at the same time with plenty of space for each of them. As I watched each one, I learned that I could tell if the bride was going to buy the gown she was wearing. There were four brides standing at mirrors. It was: no, no, Yes, no. Or in other words: no, no, GLOW, no.
We then went shopping all over the mall and ended up back in the bridal shop to ask one more question about a dress for Kaylee. Once again: no, GLOW, no, GLOW.
In Harry Potter you learn "the wand chooses the Wizard". Yesterday I learned "the dress chooses the Bride"...... I had no idea how connected lessons from Harry Potter were to wedding dress shopping!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
A Mother and her Money will soon be parted...
Countdown: 8/90 (Day since Engagement/Days till Wedding)
Did a LOT of work early last week, then took it easy the last 1/2 of the week. I still did a little bit of searching online for wedding dress stores for us to look in and made some appointments with the caterers and photographers for when Amber gets back, but kept it really low-key the last few days.
For my future self (the one planning Kaylee's wedding), I highly recommend doing that. By "that", I mean taking "Wedding Planning Vacation Days". There are plenty of days to get the "work" done, but if you don't step back and give yourself time to enjoy the ride - what's the point? Someone with my type of personality can easily get so wrapped up in the planning that I get tunnel-vision and forget to savor it while I've got it. I don't want this experience to go by unappreciated. It's a once in a life-time thing with Amber. Even though I have Kaylee, she is a different personality and so the experience with her will be different. I want to make the most of THIS time around.
Since this is the week we are looking at dresses and putting deposits down on things, this upcoming week will mark the start of the money spending. I am trying to keep my mind set on prioritizing and sticking to our budget - but I can tell that will be challenging at times. Sometimes I hate budgets and think they take all the fun out of things!! Let me give you an example of my "Wedding Budget" ways of thinking:
When Kyle and I got married, my parents bought me a new outfit to wear to my Wedding Luncheon. After I had it for a few days, I realized it just wasn't what I wanted so I went and found another dress. Even after I found a hat to go with it, it still ended up being about $30 LESS than the first one. Kyle's response: "Hey! You just saved $30". My response: "Hey! Now I can get new shoes too!!" (and I did)..... I know this gives you all great sympathy for what Kyle was working with when we first got married.... but (probably since I am footing the bill this time) I am hoping to have more of what Kyle had back then.
I just have to remember my "wedding motto" and the heart attack I will surely give my sweet husband if I blow the budget. I am trusting that Kyle and Amber will give me reality checks when I need them.
I was thinking about all the spending that will go down in the next few days and giving myself the "stay on budget" pep-talk when I saw some of our friends, the Dorman's. They have 5 girls ranging in age from probably 10 months to nine years old. I just kept thinking "Save your money, Steve! Save your money!".
Well, here's hoping that I'm smart with ours! (But I'll still probably get Amber a new pair of shoes!)
Did a LOT of work early last week, then took it easy the last 1/2 of the week. I still did a little bit of searching online for wedding dress stores for us to look in and made some appointments with the caterers and photographers for when Amber gets back, but kept it really low-key the last few days.
For my future self (the one planning Kaylee's wedding), I highly recommend doing that. By "that", I mean taking "Wedding Planning Vacation Days". There are plenty of days to get the "work" done, but if you don't step back and give yourself time to enjoy the ride - what's the point? Someone with my type of personality can easily get so wrapped up in the planning that I get tunnel-vision and forget to savor it while I've got it. I don't want this experience to go by unappreciated. It's a once in a life-time thing with Amber. Even though I have Kaylee, she is a different personality and so the experience with her will be different. I want to make the most of THIS time around.
Since this is the week we are looking at dresses and putting deposits down on things, this upcoming week will mark the start of the money spending. I am trying to keep my mind set on prioritizing and sticking to our budget - but I can tell that will be challenging at times. Sometimes I hate budgets and think they take all the fun out of things!! Let me give you an example of my "Wedding Budget" ways of thinking:
When Kyle and I got married, my parents bought me a new outfit to wear to my Wedding Luncheon. After I had it for a few days, I realized it just wasn't what I wanted so I went and found another dress. Even after I found a hat to go with it, it still ended up being about $30 LESS than the first one. Kyle's response: "Hey! You just saved $30". My response: "Hey! Now I can get new shoes too!!" (and I did)..... I know this gives you all great sympathy for what Kyle was working with when we first got married.... but (probably since I am footing the bill this time) I am hoping to have more of what Kyle had back then.
I just have to remember my "wedding motto" and the heart attack I will surely give my sweet husband if I blow the budget. I am trusting that Kyle and Amber will give me reality checks when I need them.
I was thinking about all the spending that will go down in the next few days and giving myself the "stay on budget" pep-talk when I saw some of our friends, the Dorman's. They have 5 girls ranging in age from probably 10 months to nine years old. I just kept thinking "Save your money, Steve! Save your money!".
Well, here's hoping that I'm smart with ours! (But I'll still probably get Amber a new pair of shoes!)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
A Mother and her Plan will soon be parted: Who Wants To Stick To A Plan?
In just the last 24 hours I have learned a few more things about planning a wedding:
I have mostly been working on getting organized and starting to get some balls in motion so I can feel progress. Progress makes me calm and happy. It's odd though because I have done a ton of work - but spent no money!! Hmm................ (that was me dreaming about a world where if you just work at organizing and getting balls rolling, the wedding would continue to be free - minus my book and CUTE binder w/ accessories). Alas, it is just a dream because the financial bleeding will start next week: we go dress shopping on Monday.
Well, I took inventory of the list I made yesterday (check bottom of last blog). I printed it out and it is hanging on my mirror now to help me keep perspective (as I'm learning there is SO much out there to cloud proper perspective). I needed to take inventory because we had the first blow to our plan. Yes we had a plan - but Who Wants To Stick To A Plan? Okay, that was a dumb question because I really DID want to stick to the plan! To have it shifted so early in the process was..... looking for the best word.... I guess I would say... funny. That's not the word I thought I was going to pick - but it's what came to mind. Here is the story:
Reception site: BOOKED (and pictured below)!! Love it. Outside by a creek. Lots of grass. Pretty flowers. Commune wit
h nature and all that stuff. Speaking of nature, it sometimes has a way of taking a dump on you. I mean that literally! My wedding reception was outside and nature dumped on us in the form of RAIN! The backup plan (which we invented when we started getting rained on) was to crowd into my too-small living room. It all worked and I'm still married, but it was not ideal.
Flash forward 20 years: Both my daughters have always wanted an outdoor reception. I have NEVER wanted my daughters to have an outdoor reception because I think the rain possibility would stress me out. The FANTASTIC part of the location (now pictured above) is that right next to it is another great INDOOR reception area run by the same people who would let us use it in case of bad weather!! It was so perfect. Did you notice I just used the word "was"?......
They called me last night and told me that, even though she had looked at the schedule 3 times when we booked it - she realized that she was only looking for availability during the DAY. In the evening there is a wedding booked to take place in the outdoor venue on Amber's wedding day. Translation: plan just got flushed.
Luckily we still have time to look for another outdoor venue, or we can just use the indoor venue which I still like a lot. When I talk to Amber again later I will see what she's thinkin'. Now we need a new plan. Depending what that new plan is will determine how much time it will take to put it into action.
Now, you may ask why I choose the word "funny" to describe this situation? I think it's so funny that I would be naive enough to think I would not have some wrinkle in my plan. To think: once something is written on my calendar in INK, it can not be altered in any way! Yes, Nicole, you are charmingly naive! (is it okay that I just called myself charming?)
One last thought: The wise man may have built his house upon the rock, but the Father of the Bride built his house in a town were very few relatives live. Not counting Kyle, our kids, or me, we have a total 59 people in our direct families. Of those, only 6 live in St. George - you do the math! We got some work cut out for us to get some housing figured out!
Note to future self: When planning next wedding, make sure they look at the correct time of day on the schedule when booking anything.
I have mostly been working on getting organized and starting to get some balls in motion so I can feel progress. Progress makes me calm and happy. It's odd though because I have done a ton of work - but spent no money!! Hmm................ (that was me dreaming about a world where if you just work at organizing and getting balls rolling, the wedding would continue to be free - minus my book and CUTE binder w/ accessories). Alas, it is just a dream because the financial bleeding will start next week: we go dress shopping on Monday.
Well, I took inventory of the list I made yesterday (check bottom of last blog). I printed it out and it is hanging on my mirror now to help me keep perspective (as I'm learning there is SO much out there to cloud proper perspective). I needed to take inventory because we had the first blow to our plan. Yes we had a plan - but Who Wants To Stick To A Plan? Okay, that was a dumb question because I really DID want to stick to the plan! To have it shifted so early in the process was..... looking for the best word.... I guess I would say... funny. That's not the word I thought I was going to pick - but it's what came to mind. Here is the story:
Reception site: BOOKED (and pictured below)!! Love it. Outside by a creek. Lots of grass. Pretty flowers. Commune wit
h nature and all that stuff. Speaking of nature, it sometimes has a way of taking a dump on you. I mean that literally! My wedding reception was outside and nature dumped on us in the form of RAIN! The backup plan (which we invented when we started getting rained on) was to crowd into my too-small living room. It all worked and I'm still married, but it was not ideal.Flash forward 20 years: Both my daughters have always wanted an outdoor reception. I have NEVER wanted my daughters to have an outdoor reception because I think the rain possibility would stress me out. The FANTASTIC part of the location (now pictured above) is that right next to it is another great INDOOR reception area run by the same people who would let us use it in case of bad weather!! It was so perfect. Did you notice I just used the word "was"?......
They called me last night and told me that, even though she had looked at the schedule 3 times when we booked it - she realized that she was only looking for availability during the DAY. In the evening there is a wedding booked to take place in the outdoor venue on Amber's wedding day. Translation: plan just got flushed.
Luckily we still have time to look for another outdoor venue, or we can just use the indoor venue which I still like a lot. When I talk to Amber again later I will see what she's thinkin'. Now we need a new plan. Depending what that new plan is will determine how much time it will take to put it into action.
Now, you may ask why I choose the word "funny" to describe this situation? I think it's so funny that I would be naive enough to think I would not have some wrinkle in my plan. To think: once something is written on my calendar in INK, it can not be altered in any way! Yes, Nicole, you are charmingly naive! (is it okay that I just called myself charming?)
One last thought: The wise man may have built his house upon the rock, but the Father of the Bride built his house in a town were very few relatives live. Not counting Kyle, our kids, or me, we have a total 59 people in our direct families. Of those, only 6 live in St. George - you do the math! We got some work cut out for us to get some housing figured out!
Note to future self: When planning next wedding, make sure they look at the correct time of day on the schedule when booking anything.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
A Mother and her Sanity will soon be parted...
I have two daughters. One is 20, has completed one and half years of college and is currently on semester abroad in London, England. The other is 18 and has gone to one semester of college. One of them got engaged last Saturday. No, no! It's not the older one, it's the younger one... the one who just graduated from high school less than 8 months ago... the 18 year old... the one who has been 18 for less than 7 months. While this raises an eyebrow, this isn't the most shocking thing in the world for several reasons:
This first entry will be long since I have had a CRAZY (meaning crazy-FULL, not crazy-BAD) first few days!
The first thing I realized is that - Wow - I now need to put together a wedding reception. Then they chose a wedding date and the second thing I realized was that - WOW - I now need to put together a wedding reception IN THREE MONTHS!! Would love to have just had a few more weeks to get it all together, but I guess sometimes it's easier to pull off the band-aid fast instead of dragging it out.
First thing Sunday (the engagement was on Saturday) I jumped on the internet and started searching for things like: who pays for what, time lines for getting things done, wedding invitations, decorations, general advise, etc. I found tons of stuff and some of it was actually useful. I think everyone planning a wedding should do lots of internet research from those who have gone on before. It both informs as well as fuels creativity. Bookmark everything that sounds even remotely helpful: picture, ideas, charts, information. Some of my favorite sites were:
Then I drove to every bookstore in town looking for a book that might have some info I didn't find online. I soon realized that it needed to be a book specifically about LDS weddings because they are structured so differently from other weddings. Just so you know, there are a lot of pointless wedding books out there, but I found one I think I will like. I'm not going to RAVE about it just yet, but I'll let you know. It is Your Temple Weding: A guide to planning, preparing and celebrating your special day by Jeri-Lynn Johnson and Amy Jones. The book didn't have much extra info I hadn't already found on the internet, but it seemed to cover all the things that I was most interested in (a good time-line of when to get things done was a big seller to me). I also wanted hard paper to ear mark/write notes on/highlight/put sticky notes in/take with me to read while waiting for car washes/etc.
Tuesday included booking the reception site (we already knew where we wanted it, so no research went into that) and starting a Wedding Binder where I will keep notes, contracts, receipts, pictures, quotes and other info. It was one of the ideas I got from one of the countless websites I visited. You can buy pre-made wedding binders (I know, I looked) but they are RIDICULOUSLY expensive and I would have been forced to use their formats and sections - none of which "spoke" to me. So I opted to gather and make my own. Tuesday also included pricing some linens and a few other items at a wedding rental store. THEN, we picked out colors which I thought was a really cool experience because....
Amber had gone up to Idaho with Mitch for the week. I was going to meet her in Utah Valley on Monday and we were going to look at wedding dresses and bridesmaids dresses. It is WAY better to (and if you are reading this to help you with a possible wedding in the future - write this down and remember it!) pick the color from tuxedo vests and not dress. Dresses come in endless hues of colors. Tux vests do NOT. It is so much easier to match a dress to a tux than a tux to a dress. ANYWAY, I would not see Amber again before we were in a dress shop so... I took one of our laptops with a webcam on it - went to the tux store (which has wi-fi) - hooked up with Amber online @ Skype - and proceeded to walk around the tux store with the laptop webcam showing Amber all the options over the internet. It was great and we now have colors :) (I love technology)
Now today:
The count is now 4/94 (days of engagement/days till wedding). We have booked the temple, reception location, selected a caterer, picked out colors, done major work on guest list and collecting addresses, begun checking prices on tuxes, linens & photography. ( We knew the engagement was coming several weeks in advance and been able to do a little prep work before. If it had come as a surprise, we would not be this far)
Through all of this, the #1 thing I have learned already is that organization is KEY!! Remember the binder I started yesterday? Well, it was one I found in my closet that was small, old, boring, blue and had "Nursery Leader" written on the outside with a black sharpie marker. That was not going to do for me! So I went to a chic, trend setting store (WalMart) and got myself a new binder that is a little bit bigger and will fit everything. I got one of the zipper pouches that elementary school kids keep pencils in (and, just because I'm a girl, made sure it was one of the wedding colors), a small calculator, dividers w/pockets and those really small post-it notes. I had picked out a generic kind of a binder with a plastic cover you could slip your own paper inside of to make it more personal. As I was walking away, I found a really cute, colorful and feminine one that was the same size and only $1.50 more... I GOT IT!!! I told Kyle I may have been out of line to spend that much more on a binder just because it was "cute", and that it might send our budget into a tail spin and we may no longer be able to afford a dress - but I will go down right now saying: It was worth it!!! Now I have a (CUTE) binder where the dividers have pockets and the zipper pouch inside that holds samples of the wedding colors and a small calculator. And since the wedding book I bought was not very large, I was able to use a page protector as a pocket for it in the back of the binder. Everything in ONE place..... nice :)
It's like they say: One Binder to organize all papers, One Binder to find them (the good deals), One Binder to keep you on task, and in the future BIND them (the couple that is - get it - BIND...SEAL...TEMPLE SEALING... ya, you get it)!
By, the way, that was a LOTR (Lord of the Rings) reference. Capitals on "BIND" are to emphasize the way Cate Blanchett said it in the movie.... very cool!
While I am aware I will soon be parted from my sanity, here are things to remember:
- She isn't the first in her grade to get engaged. From the people we know in her graduating class, she is the fifth that I am aware of. Two of the five are already married and one already has a baby on the way!
- She is kind of a "relationship person". She thrives within a relationship. We didn't think she would remain unattached for very long in college.
- He's nice. She's nice. They fell in love... what ya gonna do?
This first entry will be long since I have had a CRAZY (meaning crazy-FULL, not crazy-BAD) first few days!
The first thing I realized is that - Wow - I now need to put together a wedding reception. Then they chose a wedding date and the second thing I realized was that - WOW - I now need to put together a wedding reception IN THREE MONTHS!! Would love to have just had a few more weeks to get it all together, but I guess sometimes it's easier to pull off the band-aid fast instead of dragging it out.
First thing Sunday (the engagement was on Saturday) I jumped on the internet and started searching for things like: who pays for what, time lines for getting things done, wedding invitations, decorations, general advise, etc. I found tons of stuff and some of it was actually useful. I think everyone planning a wedding should do lots of internet research from those who have gone on before. It both informs as well as fuels creativity. Bookmark everything that sounds even remotely helpful: picture, ideas, charts, information. Some of my favorite sites were:
- LDSweddings.com. On the right hand side, under Features, there is a Tools section that has a great time-line for when to get things done for different engagement lengths. They also have lots of other good info. (to Kyle's credit, he is the one that found this one)
- asimpleldswedding.com. This one is pretty good too.
- theorganizedwedding.com. This one has free software you can download and use to organize EVERYTHING that I have been able to think of!! Guest lists, invitation wording & format, budget (VERY detailed), tasks, seating arrangements, gift's received, thank you's, appointments, and can also run a multitude of reports from financial, to guests that have confirmed. The look and use of it is a little cheesy, but I have been using it and it has the potential of being pretty cool.
Then I drove to every bookstore in town looking for a book that might have some info I didn't find online. I soon realized that it needed to be a book specifically about LDS weddings because they are structured so differently from other weddings. Just so you know, there are a lot of pointless wedding books out there, but I found one I think I will like. I'm not going to RAVE about it just yet, but I'll let you know. It is Your Temple Weding: A guide to planning, preparing and celebrating your special day by Jeri-Lynn Johnson and Amy Jones. The book didn't have much extra info I hadn't already found on the internet, but it seemed to cover all the things that I was most interested in (a good time-line of when to get things done was a big seller to me). I also wanted hard paper to ear mark/write notes on/highlight/put sticky notes in/take with me to read while waiting for car washes/etc.
Tuesday included booking the reception site (we already knew where we wanted it, so no research went into that) and starting a Wedding Binder where I will keep notes, contracts, receipts, pictures, quotes and other info. It was one of the ideas I got from one of the countless websites I visited. You can buy pre-made wedding binders (I know, I looked) but they are RIDICULOUSLY expensive and I would have been forced to use their formats and sections - none of which "spoke" to me. So I opted to gather and make my own. Tuesday also included pricing some linens and a few other items at a wedding rental store. THEN, we picked out colors which I thought was a really cool experience because....
Amber had gone up to Idaho with Mitch for the week. I was going to meet her in Utah Valley on Monday and we were going to look at wedding dresses and bridesmaids dresses. It is WAY better to (and if you are reading this to help you with a possible wedding in the future - write this down and remember it!) pick the color from tuxedo vests and not dress. Dresses come in endless hues of colors. Tux vests do NOT. It is so much easier to match a dress to a tux than a tux to a dress. ANYWAY, I would not see Amber again before we were in a dress shop so... I took one of our laptops with a webcam on it - went to the tux store (which has wi-fi) - hooked up with Amber online @ Skype - and proceeded to walk around the tux store with the laptop webcam showing Amber all the options over the internet. It was great and we now have colors :) (I love technology)
Now today:
The count is now 4/94 (days of engagement/days till wedding). We have booked the temple, reception location, selected a caterer, picked out colors, done major work on guest list and collecting addresses, begun checking prices on tuxes, linens & photography. ( We knew the engagement was coming several weeks in advance and been able to do a little prep work before. If it had come as a surprise, we would not be this far)
Through all of this, the #1 thing I have learned already is that organization is KEY!! Remember the binder I started yesterday? Well, it was one I found in my closet that was small, old, boring, blue and had "Nursery Leader" written on the outside with a black sharpie marker. That was not going to do for me! So I went to a chic, trend setting store (WalMart) and got myself a new binder that is a little bit bigger and will fit everything. I got one of the zipper pouches that elementary school kids keep pencils in (and, just because I'm a girl, made sure it was one of the wedding colors), a small calculator, dividers w/pockets and those really small post-it notes. I had picked out a generic kind of a binder with a plastic cover you could slip your own paper inside of to make it more personal. As I was walking away, I found a really cute, colorful and feminine one that was the same size and only $1.50 more... I GOT IT!!! I told Kyle I may have been out of line to spend that much more on a binder just because it was "cute", and that it might send our budget into a tail spin and we may no longer be able to afford a dress - but I will go down right now saying: It was worth it!!! Now I have a (CUTE) binder where the dividers have pockets and the zipper pouch inside that holds samples of the wedding colors and a small calculator. And since the wedding book I bought was not very large, I was able to use a page protector as a pocket for it in the back of the binder. Everything in ONE place..... nice :)
It's like they say: One Binder to organize all papers, One Binder to find them (the good deals), One Binder to keep you on task, and in the future BIND them (the couple that is - get it - BIND...SEAL...TEMPLE SEALING... ya, you get it)!
By, the way, that was a LOTR (Lord of the Rings) reference. Capitals on "BIND" are to emphasize the way Cate Blanchett said it in the movie.... very cool!
While I am aware I will soon be parted from my sanity, here are things to remember:
- Flowers wilt,
- Food digests,
- Invitations get thrown away,
- Decorations are forgotten,
- Dresses are put away, but
- Families are Forever!
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